To Search and Search

I am looking for myself. And there are no lights.

Falling around in the dark.

Through an abyss of limitless, colourless abandon. And faint echoes of my previous self drift past me, and through me.

Glimmers of once trodden paths, of misplaced excitement and passion, now just fragile scents on an invisible wind taking me through my depths.

But I keep searching.

Down in the deepest Dwarven halls, where the hell fire has been burning for eternity, does my soul acquiesce this paper trail under the rigours of onslaught from an enemy once known, who will be known again, always present.

There is a speckled dust, like that from the moon, breadcrumbs leading me somewhere. And an intense feeling that I should trust my vision of it, for those speckles of light are only for me. Something godly.

But might it just be my imagination? or could it be real light? I thought both are the same. Creation starts in the mind and plays out in the real. So I will trust what I see.

There is a stillness in this dark, and that is where I have seen things most clearly. By seeing my dark, I see my light.

This is my yin.

And I keep searching.

But no longer in vain. For searching blindly is when you see not the path. My path is apparent, just.

And it is only now since I have cleared myself of all history, of all present and future. It is only now that I have purged myself of what I thought I once was, that I move along this corridor of hope to new beginnings.

I recognise the undulations of my breath as I fill with the energy of what ignites my soul.

Without the requiem of my ego forging some pretentious existence, an epitaph just to be read once and then forgotten.

And with this reborn energy, away from the society that seeks to submerge my being in chaos and images painted by a thousand screams, labelled as “strength” and “bravery” and “truth”, I gain my wings and I fly amongst the moon dust with no worry of the darkness seeping in. Only that I am at peace, I am balanced with my darkness, I know my darkness. And I will allow it in when needs must.

This is my yang.

And see, whatever I am, has always been here, and will always be here. To search and search, is really just to uncover who I am, to uncover truth itself. And with it, all of the darkness and all of the light.

Crown Chakra

Kannaiyah the compassionate